best of humphrey bubbles by the tortoise and my hair<3

by the tortoise and my hair

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1.
the rhyming in my soup AmD E Am been walking down the road • remembering things that i’ve been told • and not remembering but been told • so my memory keeps on spitting out Da new version every time the rhyming in my soup • the dinking round the tollbooth by the pool playing the fool it’s still the Dbig deal every time • the rhyming in my soup • the dank and darkening stairs • where wishing wells R leading U so i Amrun back home • home 2 C my mom • 2 hide my head in sand • do not want to B A man • so many Dmanly things • like guns and sport car bling • exhausted from opinions racing round the kitchen sink gone 2 meditate • on death A heightened state • where all R knowing reason seems 2 sooth and satiate our Dthirst 4 mindfulness/things • 4 justice’s twisted fist • maniacal my eyes roll back so far in2 skinhead so i run back home • home 2 cry alone • 2 hide inside my mind • they watch me all the time • down doing things • that later i’ll deny • but knowing all the while • they’re filming me and saving files so they’re freezing you • you’re asleep out in the cold • you’re lost out on your own • there’s no road paved with solid gold
2.
I’M WRITING YOU THIS LETTER DCG god give me back my peace of mind at least one piece at a time tonight insist the best for your children if you blink you miss ina second their coming age the trials a ntranquillers silly struggles alone on stage with everybody pointing throwing scraps through a bars cage i’m writing you this letter - about the woolen sweater you knit - to keep me warm i’m thanking you think of me - (so) far from home - even though you know round here - never snows i’m writing you this letter about - all the things i say i’ll do - but have never done- i’m writing you this letter - and missing home - wish to be upon a plane - bound for cold i’m writing you this letter - cause in a splitting minute - can all be gone - i’m writing you this letter - too cheap to phone - i’ve never gotten used to yet - being wrong i’m singing you this prayer - my heart and soul undone - don’t know what’s going on - and just right now - my need to know so wonderful i’ m writing you this song cause i can feel in moments (like)we don’t belong - alone out in our universe - so far from home i’m writhing in this sweater - it’s made of wool it’s true too that it’s getting cold - i guess i get this itch each year - just right about now - this itch again(that) i should be - heading home
3.
THERE’S ALWAYS SOMETHING CHASING ME D C there’s always something chasing me banging a broken drum on some back door feelings R ever changing we’re going through we try to keep our feet firm to the floor ferris wheels keep rolling round fun wearing us down the rubber so slightly worn out in our souls we’re slowly rolling weary but the warm sun shines to thee our shelter is this sun shine along his road
4.
over and over and over and over A gain searching for A saviour to save US in vain murder playing with words weighing truth as A game blood pulsing wrist twitching rust dripping red rain praying jesus returns soon †tyrannical saints over and over and over and over A gain wand waving making magical miracle claims sheep people grazing while narrowing their gaze blue moon standing alone waning growing too late waiting on some long ago for got ten fate over and over and over and over A gain inquisitively questioning thoughts illogically sane raising hell immaculate earth crushing pain falling hard from A hill perching high above grace over and over and over and over A gain over and over and over and over A gain
5.
CHANGING GEARS vicky’s song (vegans will lead us back 2 the garden)CAPO3 AmBCG changing gears down low an up hill battle making trails A path others 2 follow changing gears backlogged through sleepy hollow from here on out Gthis land is their land also changing gears mis guided by the moon light changing gears, peddling on some old worn out ideaS changing gears believing something silly so sublime changing gears reaching out for rhyme FGAm changing gears falling in with winter changing gears ride A long grand river changing gears nearing cowbell brewery 2 the north, west ward god rich bound changing gears re cycling WAR with suffering changing gears, wind stinging, in their solemn stare changing gears what has our just ICE answered changing gears unanimously slaughter FGAm changing gears falling in with winter changing gears ride A long grand river changing gears nearing cow bell brewery 2 the north, west ward god rich bound changing gears tethered to the weather changing gears now knowing not 2 never never land changing gears all life OU/R souls CO nnected respecting U dO on 2 me that i am FGAm changing gears falling in with winter changing gears ride A long grand river changing gears nearing cow bell brewery 2 the north, west ward god rich bound
6.
sam son i am 04:39
SAMSON samsam i am such a worried man trying to live the best i can sam i am seeing • all or nothing inthedark my eyes burn true2U done stumbling • sam i am such A lazy fan º when the point spread gets too far and few between • sam U took AWAY my breath and left me here2bleed 2death • done suffering samsam i am such a lonely man ºalone • only waiting on a dream † sam i was always hoping to discover under everything we know IS true º it isn’t really what it seems ºthat all so much is really just made up and all that’s real is really only make believe ºi faced your stare the dark upon the dawn i'll wander on from here ONOUT my eyes too blind 2C samsam i am such a frightened man making up a brave new world 2 make believe † sam i have been hiding round the corner in a mind minding my business ON my knees † sam the answers have been blowing on the wind for longer now than anyone couldconceiveOF † sam U left my soul out in the cold around the corner where my body growing old now longs 2B samsam i am such a helpless man misguided in gods streets of suffering man 2 man could i take you by YOUR hand divinely leading U towards eternity † sam i know the moment that you go i’ll feel relief ºand even thoughº i know all of this • i smile and still believe • sam i am ºso happy having had the chance 2HOLDU • though be it brief samsam i am finally finding freedom in my heart so heavy from defeat sam i think u’ve changed me in ways of being with out truly perceiving all you’ve done to make me more or less complete sam i am grieving out of selfishness ºa lonely ship out lost upON the sea sam i see the demon of my death on the horizon the life i have left worthwhile 2live
7.
love is a splendored roar C G F G C capo4(PLANT BASED) love is the only thing that we can bring across the board love’s a wide range of things but most oF all A splendoured roar love is a factory setting set on getting ready love creeps A long A line arriving just in time to find out in down to earth again beginning things by scratching chin up eye on the itch wait ON what day break will bring offering Glife, health and limb signs warning under sun shining turning round A world un done love is a thunder bolt reckoning with A vote to stay here stubborn or to go love is like many things a room with circus rings round an elephant
8.
new song Dm G C f Bb F Dm • Dm G C f Bb F C chorus DmGCDm all these things R answers lying where Another/ tree has fallen all these things R answers lying where Another/ tree is falling hearing oF conspiracy theories for against a tree falling in the forest fires raging all around us all these things R answers lying where Another/ tree has fallen all these things R answers lying where another tree is falling hidden in the cracks of eaves crevices trying 2 deceive you in2 esenarios oF super justice leagues all these things R answers lying where Another/ tree has fallen all these things R answers lying where another tree is falling honouring hierarchy out oF order breaking free taking on controlling channels • full and overflowing all these things R answers lying where Another/ tree has fallen all these things R answers lying where another tree is falling
9.
today i don’t feel myself aug2018 AGD she said i’m not myself • not today • i’m someone else i AM not ok • IN anyway • i don’t feel well why when it rains • sunshine blames me to be bright then when the sun comes • he hides his head inside and smiles i took turns against • with my strength • it left me weak deep within their ranks • out on MY own • bound in between why when it rains • sunshine complains º of melting ice then when summer sings • wedding rings her heart felt sighs now i’m lining up • from fooling round • to see ALL new and with help and luck • and love will see that you get through and with help and luck • and love we will see that we get through it i am not myself • for today • i don’t feel well once thought i could be • someone else • who was not me i’m not myself • not today • i’m somewhere else i am not ok • i am far away • though wishing well
10.
dºN’t dEPEND ºN ME(i’ll ºnly let yºu dºwn)NAZIS/NAtURE/LUST/LOVE/GOD the dawn is always darkest * the daze about 2 break † the mourning sun shines down UPºN • brightening US 2wake and fuck forwards • can’t find 4words 2 say my 1thought trapped ºN trying 2TRK a train i never meant 2 hurt you † i cºuldn’t help myself † the ºnly thing • you’re feeling • is the way i’ve always felt † and when my feelings fall • all goes to hell † dON’t depend ºN me 2 break your fall don’t depend on me to break your fall † best not to depend on me at all don’t depend on me to set you free somehow † you’re gonna have to somehow free yourself don’t depend on me † for anything at all don’t depend on me † i’ll only let you down the heat down here is heavy † this well’s about to bleed † the love U have to offer me could never fill the need † it’s always me who gets down on my knees † it’s always you i’m bending down to please this tricky trigger finger † all thumbs gummed up with lead the blue pill U choose tried and true instead of bleeding red obeying doctors orders • warm from bed trying SO hard 2 hear what’s up ahead don’t depend on me to break your fall - best not to depend on me at all don’t depend on me to set you free somehow - you’re gonna have to somehow free yourself don’t depend on me - for anything at all don’t depend on me - i’ll only let you down don’t depend on me - CUZi’ll only let you down
11.
i’ve tried TO SEE the light of DAY Am Dm E (I TRIED TO DRINK FROM BUTTERCUPS) i tried to drink from buttercups - i tried to please - i tried my luck - i tried to be a better man - i couldn’t in the end i’ve tried to see the of light day - i’ve tried to see from far away - upon a star against the sky - cold darkness crushing light i’ve tried to make my mother cry - i tried to feel her pain inside - i’ve tried to be her only child - two sisters out at sea i’ve tried to be the butterflies - the bees that hover apple pies - expecting great-ly what’s in-side - the apple of her eye i’ve tried to be my mother’s child - i’ve learned i can’t be running wild - that life is better ON HER side - a child is never free i’ve tried to see another way i’ve changed my ways and tried to stay - above the waves that crash and break - cold darkness into grey i tried to drink the buttercups - i tried to please - i tried my luck - i tried to be a better man - i couldn’t give a damn
12.
new song southere alabaska working title CAPO6 Bm Em Cx2 - Am Em Dm Em, Am Em F take your chance down to southern so i’ll ask her don’t deny the fool ON his thrown UP ON the mountain sand through slippery hands oasis desert ending caged clawless guinea piggy still will B hanging in the window in the mourning dog day after noon we all have called this meeting gathered all the heads R embedded in the board honouring great thieves whose dissonance they’ve stolen spitting up what blood clot dry dishes dripping drenched in poison Em C Bm won’t no i won’t let it go my will i still strong so i won’t let it go until the spill is all cleaned up don’t give up on love coming 4 U after dinner minds made UP oF loud and rival laughter and don’t cry A river that’s running(2U dry) A way dry don’t get down just to get up side down the ground appears AS clear blue sky
13.
lightening loads mayend2019 A Dm E ode 2 all that’s owed cold water washing o’er A new born BB beats his heart pounds hARd 4 peace Eearly birds riseGO peep peep peep Dand i can hardly get2 sleep beneath the summer Ambreeze SUN º big ball of fire º sky lightENing º my desire lava flowing love warm flames burnt stars above Eheightened 2 the heat BB breathes fast asleep º deep beside me light a long the load far4 ward GO slower road wild horses 2 tired 2 bolt 2 hands 2 handles hold engraved ways weighed in gold 4 fathers being bold • brave in Ambelief flight in open sky sweet dessert dripping dry sand skips in the wind with dandy lion grin/s ºpride from eye 2 eye wondering when the sky and earth will meet tried so to be true SOtrue so true 2 U light a leaning beam guides US 2ward our dreams swaying in the praise gleaning sage Of age (less ness manw KRP) beneath orchard apple trees swing under crab apple trees praying that u’ll stay º while knowing all the way that nothing lasts 4 long not even this here song
14.
levis®athan 03:16
LEVIATHAN Dm3baet Am3beat aka hipocracy re-arranged 4 Cm 4 holy CRP recordings contesting common reasoning CAPO3 AmE AMBb leviathan you’re wearing thin you’re not eating enough lately scary monster on the moor LEVIS® A than shame is UP your highness under garments showing draping ºheld beholden TOP above time • OVER same last century under ground god golden idols ºburning up in effigy • surrendertRUth by rendering sun2 shine on sunny DAZE the Hipocracy of ignorance is growing vines around your fence ºing U in2 A corner closing in on U again strangling U by coroner ºquincy A dams apple (A)day • gulping in the guilt double cruci -fixed christ sympathy flying over fields of fortune dropping bombs ON children reading ºbOOks on safe removal oF live mines ºin jungle sanctuaries believing ghostS of gallantry • citing quotes on chivalry • gaping eyes young mouths 2feed • gauntlet lancing WARt worries bureaucracy leviathan’s clammy hands clamp round your ring • fingering distracting U • soothing what YER SOOth seeing creature comforts creep A way • themeek inherit last class seats • leaving earth 2burn behind • A monu mental man made feat sad seeing things through eyes strain hardening 2 comprehend • living in among mere GIANts • immoral mortal hope less MEN sins accusing god excuses lacking IN self lESS restraint • behaviour gone unpunished • due 2 kamicosmic skeptic debt the democracy of cretins ºis dreaming in what’s seem ing ly • impossible 2 C thin air seeping bREAth • 2 black 2 breathe changing blind direction • waiting on A new BORN dream • prying out enamellED nails • scratching right back at U babe
15.
Eb BIG money (monkey) chorus dance tune holy cr*p Eb A D E capo6 pooling at the corner big money on the pocket chick hens chec king clucking stare ring popping bottle rocket a hun dead doll A.R. raising de pends on if i’ll drop it i smoke her through the hazing pur ple rain poor ºold seat bucket chorus D A E DC/AE x4 big money booze drug sex drin king eve nings deeper in debt big money funny how up set U get once i lose i’ll bet pinching pe ne noodle • rol led oats hall car pet ting a lie a loof in plain dis pute • Oºver co star red orion cinematic story boredºsell an atom apple early evening in the sand paper re fining fables glory phoney ball be lonely for lorn • eich man searching h’ordeurves taste testing his tory dress sing up in arms crossed for war sa luting tears salt watering • gas wide eyed re volving carousel piggy backing bacon wrapped warm hiding loo king love ly in the light low laughing at the chorus the bears row in a thruple • fun nelling nature’s golden porridge bon ding by james’ river º7 ven dou bull split ban-ananas mo no 2 nal monk keys un lock • neo lithic cam er as oranges mourning sun day • kiss sing lips buzz squirrely squirming with the worms the early birds absurdly worry arg u ing down town preaching • blaming HIGH attendance on the dancers folding flaps up on the pants hot trotting ten ets chorus D A E DC/AE x4 big money booze drug sex drin king eve nings deeper in debt big money funny how up set U get once i lose i’ll bet```
16.
CANDY 02:25
CANDY candy craving coloured candy sticky sickly sweet need to get my sugar fix sweet candy calling me candy colour coated sugared dreams of jellied beans planted 2 grow love❤️ candy orange and yellowed corny tEEth climbing up a hot tin roof of ginger breaded dreams sweet dreams oF sugar plums and candied beets peanut butter spreading me out thick slices oF vegan cake candy limping with my candy cane in the rain craving something sweet 22 carden street • got 2 get my can-dy´ candy need to get some candy treat grab the grape ape licorice sticks slippery but so sweet • 22 carden st.
17.
chilling tale song Bm F#m F#m A F#m Bm capo3 bridge Em A Bm they R lying in the road • they’re taking way our children preaching us that luck • ain’t too far a way guns hired out for haunting houses/dollars five and dime ing watches turn rewinding back 2 golden age Em A Bm i won’t be playing with no GUN CUZ we gotta a lot of fun gus among us in U.S. the states making A atate ment ON becoming # 1 trusting US 2 slouch 2 beth le ham trusting that we’ll slouch to beth le hem groping in the grandeur of A castle building broken banks cliff hanging waving busted legs reaping joys of sticky hand ling greener groceries jamming in the basements factories A ban doned Em A Bm i won’t men TOR fOR rote i got a coat of coloured things 2 sing 2 fill my throat • the sinking in my chest for what we all all ready know the hole2 crawl through ’s quickly closing UP time/light has(co) lapsed/stalled throwing US back in2 the dark (in time to start) we’ve been playing in the sellar tired of printing money galloping far behind every black knight’s mare warning is the sun shine high above US burning (infirmary) petered OUt ON paying river jor DAN SIN Em A Bm i won’t be playing with no GUN CUZ we gotta a lot of fun gus among us in U.S. the states making A atate ment ON becoming # 1 trusting US 2 slouch 2 beth le hem
18.
`YouVEGANuary new song all oF a sudden Dtingle CAPO4 world’s an unforgiving storm howling winds volcanoes roaring river feeding mouths for lorn fire breathing dragons burn asbestos mines lungs unsung 2ward future cancers reap rewards all that’s well has ended worse lies R baiting out B4 U leap U look so badly bored your ditch dug deep in creep the worms until your mind your brains destroysA god tattling tales oF holy warsG touchdown 2 ground begin again truth B known oF course is now here then B the tolling hour beyond the void oF evil power light shining brightly showing how rampant running stampede 4 ward classy work war hero lords abysmal grandeur chores oF choice not seeing trees B for the forest statesman sounding warning horns breast plates full of musket holes the war is over truth B scorned shores of borders formerly owned melodic chords keeping 4 score A new year’s fold envelopes the world all that’s well has ended worse
19.
i broke it down (back home again) 4Gfm7 BANGLEDSH YEARS i broke it down head home again i swim around these stones so thin for great skipping i throw toward this sun i’m following i have a heavy load i’m swallowing my tongue and i am heading/bleeding/coming home i’ve got no right or wrong too puzzling but things do send me through to trip in blue the colour red imbues is bubbling inside my head i think i’m over due to take a drink i need sometime to think an older fire burns deep inside of me i won’t go in the borders warm my feet when i was young it all surrounded me i’m older now i know it’s not around me at all and you are all around me i’m not going to go into the fire i go around the warm and drawing desire when i was young the fire surrounded me but it’s not it’s not around you either the fever in the fire is the believer the bones you throw me freezing at my feet i fall down hard on knees to eat the meat repeating all the bending bleeding feats i send you all my love but i am heading home my soul so cold from eating meat frozen in the snow the cold is killing me we are getting old ritual of defeat and picking up the peace all the senseless sleighs down hills to timbucktwo i have to find my place real soon and all is said a nd/or done it was me i was the one all along i sold my home my pack i’m carrying move like a snail the shell i wear a bring i’ve only got the clothes i wear they stink i look for water flow to clear my mind and drink new life begun and i am heading out in new world sun htis time i’m on the run to forward hoe the another load (of shit) of carrying it protects my soul from anyone i’,m warying about to poke my head at out i don’t care much ‘bout things i’m unaware of stuff supposed to be inspiring me in others’ dreams of caring careless cares and all my dreams have left to go up stairs to sleep (2U)sweet dreams to u my sweet sugar is tooth’s enemy to chew the tart the stick is in decaying grounds where friends have been a traveller i’m travelling alone again but i am headed home i can se the lit i phone put me to sleep tip toe up if you dare are only leaving the human league receding to deal with all its deeds it cheapens me to care ‘bout t he stares so burnt in all our ears of caring what other think the cliff that leads us to the brink of who care what anybody thinks you think you think you know what i think as travellers on this road i see as friends without the sort of suffering you leave behind when you begin to i know what i have done i know what i’m doing i know where i’m going i’m heading home i can’t care much for things i’m unaware and i’m supposed to be inspiring me in others’ dreams of are only leaving the human league receding to deal with all its deeds a heavy handed slides me home frightened long walks dark down roads a steeple chase ensue unfolds i’m giving in to please my lord for things to cum and i am coming home around so stoned a nd thin a gain this living with me alone has been taking in it’s toll s spending thin again i found my and open house for friends and folks alone again
20.
PEZpodcastJINGLE capo3 F C Bb talkin’ A bout PEZ • while remembering with my past legs sweet sugared bricks • slim body plastic cast A head made 2 tilt back 2 throw UP coloured blocks talkin’ A bout PEZ • cuz smoking i give UP i’m talking about PEZ while i’m walking through my thoughts so many things • that we ought 2 talk A bout plastic fills OUR seas • the animals R fucked talkin’ A bout PEZ • 2 escape this other stuff feelin’ like A PEZhead • lEANING 2 FAR back burping cherry fizz • orange lemon, Eduard Hass in 1927 B4 hitler gets his grasp • was born 2 Austria the first PEZ dispenser talkin’ A bout PEZ • while remembering with my past legs sweet sugared bricks • slim body plastic cast A head made 2 tilt back 2 throw UP coloured blocks talkin’ A bout PEZ • cuz smoking i gave UP
21.
1SAD AMENDS SONG capo6 GCD • CD GC • CEmAmC wild life a fair fight 2 thee enD i’m sad and i have a Dchance to make amends a gain in 2 black hills from under burning bridges standing alone in a corner with little jackie hornier and hungry still longing for summer songs of some thing sexy CDGCEmAm C and i know i master bate far too much don’t have much on my plate but i’ve got enough to eat got some(too much) thing 2 say i’m sad and i have a Dchance to make amends a gain in 2 the hills from under burning bridges standing still in high heels hoping every thing that’s ever changing will UP ON willing B well all IS always re arranging C Em Am C believing in U believing in U that you would ( come 2)save me baby U gonna make me crazy 4 U 2 again i’m sad and i have a Dchance to make amends a gain in 2 the hills from under burning bridges standing still in high heels wonder LUSTing where the rocks R wearing OVER AND out on the DOWNtown painting each door red i’m sad because i’ve had A Dway 2findnew friends again in 2 blue films shining starring long legs lovely spreading guided by light voices in my head ING shaking steady holding tongues tight righteous playing safe with 5th amendment

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released October 15, 2023

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the tortoise and my hair Guelph, Ontario

diary of a decomposing dog

this diary on this scary day is one of warmth again and play i am not going to say what my feeling really is in fact it’s just a lark that i have any at all no one’s left to listen, no one ever has, my bed’s been made un-wizened so been judged to be the best, but somehow just one wrinkle in my head is always left. ... more

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